Ironi

Hari ini hari ke-22 sejak gw ga di kamar apartment di Singapore. Dan masih 25 hari lagi sampai akhirnya gw (mungkin) balik ke Singapore. The next 25 days, I will be in Indo, Vietnam, and US (+ 8 hours transit in SG to collect my fall jacket actually?

Rasanya lmyan campur aduk. Di satu sisi gw lmyan “nyaman”. Tinggal di hotel enak, baju di laundry, makan dibayarin, ke kantor tinggal ngesot, dll. Di sisi lain lmyan capek juga. I don’t have regular schedule now. Ga bisa decide tiap hari minggu mau ke gereja mana, mau ke komunitas mana, mau bikin temen ama siapa. Ketika di Jakarta kebanyakan gw jg ngerasa capek and pilih istirahat di hotel drpd ketemu temen2.

So actually it was shitty. Haha. Most of the them I just feel tired and lonely.

On the other hand, career-wise I am doing really good. Beberapa research gw went viral and got recognition from a lot of people. Pernah product director buat global market sampai kirim pesan pribadi saying thanks and asking if there’s anything he can help. Di all hands meeting, in the kudos section (where people say thank you to other colleague), my manager praised me in front of a lot of people. Research requests came from several people. Indonesia GM, Philippines GM, Vietnamese GM pada minta personally buat do riset di market mereka. Other researchers spoke highly ttg gw. Dan hal2 sombong lainnya….

But I dunno why. I think I am burn out now. Haha. Padahal baru 3 bulan disini.

Kemarin gw request days off buat november dan libur natal nanti. Si manajer dengan baiknya blg “are you sure you have enough days off. I know you work until very late. You deserve some days off”. Baik bgt. Jadinya I am thinking to take some days off in Seattle when I will be in the US later on.

But in overall, I am so done. Hahaha. Masih culture shock dari hidup nyaman gw di Eropa dulu.

Gw lagi nulis tulisan ini sambil duduk di kursi bisnis Vietnam air , 787 dreamliner, dari hanoi ke ho chi minh sambil muka yang ketekuk2 kaya orang depresi ga pny masa depan. Ironi aja.

I really don’t know what I want in my life.

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